It is almost 10 PM and I am sitting in my room going through all my plans for this year and I have to say some of them are pretty scary. I am thinking about the person I used to be that sometimes peaks in my mind to remind me how everything sucks when you don’t have control over your life and I start feeling the gratitude of who I have become.
As a kid, I used to be constantly scared and the only thing I always knew was that I want to break free.
It was a long ride which I can talk about some more maybe in a video one day because trust me there is A LOT to talk about but for now, let me introduce you to the person I have become now.
She knows that fear is an important aspect in understanding that something is happening in her life and she should be aware, but she also knows that she is the only true boss of her life and she can listen to her fear warning her but also must evaluate if it has any GOOD REASONING BEHIND IT.
Was I scared to perform in front of hundreds of people? Totally.
Was I scared to go for the job interview I so badly wanted? Oh, my. I can’t even.
Was I scared to buy a ticket to India and travel by myself to a country that is so different from mine? Simple, yes.
The idea of fear is that during our life we grow up fearing fear which causes a chain reaction. We all know that terrible feeling of anxiety, of a web of negative what if thoughts, a feeling of humiliation, a stage-fright (and I could write a book about that one), there are way too many forms of fear.
Fear is a natural reaction to physical or emotional danger, harm or pain. That sounds a quite easy right? I mean, all we have to do is cut that out. Well, it is more tricky than that. I am sure we all can agree that there are only a few moments in our lives when we fear because of an external situation and yet we fear something our whole life which is ultimately the number one thing that pushes us back from living THE LIFE WE ARE DESTINED TO.
Fear turned out to be a very sneaky psychological parasite that goes hand in hand with unsuccessful validation. We are scared to speak up in our relationship because we are scared what the reaction of our partner is going to be, we are scared to apply for the job abroad because what if we don’t do well and end up going back and looking stupid.
So since I have studied fear quite a lot, here are my 3 different perspectives and 3 SUPER HELPFUL INSIGHTS (yes, I rate it that high) on it that can help you to get rid of it and start living your life right now, like this instantly!
The Psychological factor:
Once you acknowledge that fear comes from the negative point of your own mind that is trying to sabotage you – and that piece of your mind is actually called EGO, you can start decoding the pattern and going back to free your mind.
Anytime you start feeling the fear, sit down and break it down to little pieces by asking up 10 questions, each question has to be deeper than the one before and should really make your brain sweat.
In the end, you realize that your fear has no reason behind apart from you yourself sabotaging your way because your EGO is simply too comfortable at living this life right now, but you aren’t an EGOist so why should you listen to it, or are you? 🙂
The Physical factor:
It’s not a surprise when I say that your mind is connected to your body and vice versa. That is why when you feel nervous you usually have to run to the bathroom, let’s be real in here. The same thing goes around though, I am quite sure sometimes when you sit in the restroom you feel bit nervous (haha, I am sort of kidding and sort of not).
However, you can easily trick your mind by setting up the perfect environment so fear has no space because it is already taken!
Start playing your favorite playlist, sing along, work out or DANCE, then go in front of the mirror and give yourself some super-assuring smirk and a wink. You got this, all will be great. Keep saying that in your mind while looking at yourself till it feels really natural.
Going for the casting of a role that will change your life but you can feel your heart pounding in your gut? Trust me, I have been in that situation! You can do a Superwoman pose or I just uncover my teeth hidden under my red lipstick because: Hey! I am a Ladybeast! Find your own ritual, explore what triggers the mindset of a Ladybeast for you.
The Spiritual factor:
This one is my favorite. I believe that everything that is around us or within us, everything that we perceive and absorb is a living thing because everything carries some sort of energy.
Without energy, there would be no life, correct? Without your parents loving each other, you would certainly not be here.
About a half a year ago I was on a plane home and I thought about fear as a hairy pitiful creature that gets inside of your head to mess with you and I started asking why? Why is it doing that? Well, because of the same thing that we are scared of! It wants validation, it wants to be seen, it wants to exist. It is just like Martin Luther King once said: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
This is some basic physics as well and it totally made sense so I started talking to my fear in a very sweet slow voice like to a drug addict that needs attention and love but you have to tiptoe around. And I started sending it love.
I won’t lie, it wasn’t super easy at the beginning but now I am trained and every single time there is a slight signal my fear wants attention, I just send it some love and release it. I basically love it and I sometimes feel like it loves me back and therefore leaves me to take the steps necessary for becoming the better version of me. Does that make sense???
What do you do to stop fearing? Can you imagine giving your fear a form and sending it loads of love? Will you try it next time it comes into your life?
Please, do let me know, I am really really excited to know all this!
Good luck my beautiful Ladybeasts. 💋